Bit of Happy #3: Getting Through the Regret

16 Sep

“Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.”
-Carl Bard

I know what it’s like wanting to go back in time.. wanting to redo even years at a time. Things could have been so different if I had just…

But that’s not what life is about. We must live in the present – go from this day forward. I’m not saying to forget the past – remember it, learn from it… but move forward from it. So many of us get stuck in the past, so deep that we miss opportunities in the present. And instead of living in an optimistic future, we stumble – too busy looking back.

Bard says it all in a single sentence. Let’s face it, you can’t go back and start from the beginning (until someone creates a successful time machine). It’s impossible. But something you can do – you and anyone else… You can start from today, this very moment, and open your heart to the possibilities of the future.

What are your stories? Have you ever found yourself living in the past? Wishing you could change a choice you made?

What did you do to move forward? Or better yet, what has this post inspired you to do to move forward?

My Story…

When I was younger, I was very shy, kinda’ (okay, okay… VERY) nerdy, and I didn’t really talk to anyone in school. I wasn’t involved in any clubs or sports – I’d gotten cut from the soccer team right before school started my freshmen year. I got made fun of – not to the extent of being thrown into lockers, but I was far from prom queen. At home, I was my normal goofy self – happy and outgoing.

Something about school just zipped my mouth and the key had a very good hiding place. I didn’t understand why I couldn’t just open my mouth. Was it fear? Was it a lack of confidence? Was it out of my comfort zone?

My past was consumed in silence…

I’ll never forget the morning of the first day of tryouts for Field Hockey. I had no idea what I was doing or how to play the game (not even that you couldn’t hit the ball with both sides of the stick). I remember sitting in the car with my mom, butterflies nauseating my stomach.

“I can’t do this. I can’t do this,” I said, my heart running a marathon.

“You don’t have to do this. But I know you can,” my mom said, ever encouragingly.

I’ll tell you this, I don’t know what made me get out of that car – whether it was the leap of faith that I was talking about in an earlier post, or the mere thought of ‘what do I have to lose?’

So I learned quickly and had a sort of natural talent for the sport. I managed to make the cuts.. I made the Varsity Field Hockey team. I couldn’t believe it – my life was about to change, and I had no idea what was in store for me.

The senior Field Hockey girls brought me under their wing and taught me everything I needed to know. They taught me what confidence was. They taught what it was like to have a close circle of friends. They taught me not to fear the unknown, but rather embrace it. To take the risk. To take the chance. To step out of the past that was swallowing me up and move forward with the ‘me’ that I wanted to be.

Sometimes I think about what my life could have been like if I hadn’t gotten out of the car that morning…

Letting my past get the better of me for all those years is something I can say I truly regret. But I’m proud of myself for having the courage to step out of the darkness and into the light of the present.



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