Bit of Happy #25: How do you want to be remembered?

18 Oct

“When you judge others, you don’t define them, you define yourself.”
-Wayne Dyer

Everyone talks. This is not a statement of conditions, it’s a fact. At some point in your life, whether big or small, often or once in a while, you have talked about another person. Words that would potentially hurt someone if those words were replayed. We all have. I have. I’ll openly admit it.

In the most recent years, I try to keep this quote in mind before I let gossip spill from my lips – words that I know I could come to regret. I consciously try every day to build my character through positivity. Though, sometimes it is difficult when a world of pessimism surrounds you. I know it’s hard when speaking with friends, family and coworkers to talk about another person, close or distant to you. But I know one thing… I don’t want to be remembered as the girl who talks about everyone behind their back, but rather the person who only has optimistic things to share about others, and life in general. I bite my tongue when I get the urge, or at least, I try my hardest. In times of weakness, I use this quote and my passion for living life and spreading that optimism to others as my guidance.

However, I’m not perfect. Definitely not perfect. FAR FROM PERFECT. I slip up. Unfortunately, I can’t really think of any stories to share where my words have brought a lot of pain to another person (well, then again, I guess that’s a good thing (but it would have made a great, gossipy entry, would it? lol)). Anyway, I try to be the clear-headed person in every situation, and never allow anger or hurt to cloud my thoughts… and so far, I feel like I’ve been pretty good at that.

From my childhood, I never really knew what it was like to be the bully. Instead, I was on the receiving end. I know what it feels like to be made fun of. I’ll never forget in 5th grade, two boys made fun of me so bad that I came home crying every day from school. Eventually my mom called the teacher and had my seat moved to the over side of the classroom. It didn’t solve the problem completely – not until they found someone new to pick on. And even though the fingers were no longer pointing at me, what about the other kid?

Being bullied by someone isn’t fun and being judged isn’t much fun either. No one truly knows the depth of hurt until they have been unfairly criticized by someone else. I’m not here to preach, but consider keeping this quote in your pocket for the next chatty day. It’ll make the world a little less gloomy, and a little bit happier.

What happy things have you shared with others about others recently?

Was there a time that you chose not to say something about someone because it wasn’t very nice? Or a time that you wish you hadn’t said certainly things about another?


4 Responses to “Bit of Happy #25: How do you want to be remembered?”

  1. vodkacranberry October 19, 2010 at 6:22 am #

    My father always said “if you have nothing nice to say about someone else, then say nothing at all.” He was kind of right. Positivity really does breed positivity but the same applies in reverse. Negativity breeds negativity. You just have to know which one you want to be.

    • Stephanie Frances October 19, 2010 at 10:38 pm #

      Your father was most definitely right in what he said – at least, that’s what I believe. I think you’ll like today’s Bit of Happy (#26) if you get a chance to look at it – speaks to the ‘positivity breeds positivity’ phrase like to use.

  2. The Reason You Come October 23, 2010 at 3:27 am #

    It’s true; gossiping about other people, judging them, doesn’t serve a purpose, unless the purpose is just to make you feel good about yourself by putting others down. But then, what does that say about you?

    I like your blog. Your stories and thoughts are inspiring.

    • Stephanie Frances October 25, 2010 at 8:55 pm #

      That’s an extremely good point, and exactly what this quote is trying to bring to the surface – I believe. Dyer’s quote does a great job in encouraging people to reflect on their current actions and question where the benefit lies – if there even is any.

      And I just wanted to say – one, thank you so much for your comment and welcome. 😀 Two, I’m so glad to hear that you like Little Bits of Happy. And three, I hope to hear from you again soon!

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