Bit of Happy #138: A Gift With No Cost

“A smile costs nothing but gives much. It enriches those who receive without making poorer those who give. It takes but a moment, but the memory of it sometimes lasts forever. None is so rich or mighty that he cannot get along without it and none is so poor that he cannot be made rich by it. Yet a smile cannot be bought, begged, borrowed, or stolen, for it is something that is of no value to anyone until it is given away. Some people are too tired to give you a smile. Give them one of yours, as no one needs a smile so much as he who has no more to give.”
-Anonymous

I found a handful of quotes about the influence of a smile sometime last week. Not that a smile overload would be a bad thing, but I’ve been trying to spread out these new quotes with the others that I have.

Today’s quote, author unknown, was by far one of my favorites of the bunch. The entire thing as a whole brings so much positivity and light to what a smile can do for you… and what it can do for others. And the best part, it’s free! Free and requiring little time and effort, smiling tends to be contagious. We tend to experience happiness out from others’ happiness. Such a small gesture can brighten someone’s day – whether they are your best friend, your parent or a complete stranger.

“It takes but a moment, but the memory of it sometimes lasts forever.” This part, this very sentence is what really tugged at my heart. It touched the very core of my soul. This is the line that made my thoughts drift to the ones I love, picturing each of them with a smile on their face. Cheesy perhaps, but just those memories of each one of them brought – well, what would you know – a smile to my face!

Give away your smiles and collect the ones that are given back to you. You never know when someone you know, or you yourself, may need to bring out that memory on a rainy day. It is the happiest moments that get us through the difficult times. It is the happiest moments that give us a reason to stay strong. It is the happiest moments that remind us why life is worth living.

“Some people are too tired to give you a smile. Give them one of yours, as no one needs a smile so much as he who has no more to give.” So, give others a reason to remember to smile. Give them a reason to find happiness in their life. Give them a reason to live each moment to the absolute fullest. And you can do all of these things simply with a smile.

Bit of Happy #83: Doubting the Unquestionable

“One of the worst feelings in the world is having to doubt something that you thought was unquestionable.”
-Anonymous

Whether religion, or the one you have fallen in love with, or the family who has raised you since birth, there are certain things in life that you consider to be reliable, dependable and unchanging. These are the things in life that you would never dream of having to question. So with those things in mind, what if you suddenly were put in a position of doubt? Of question?

In ways, I don’t know if I would consider this quote to be a little bit of “happy,” because it is pointing a bright spotlight on a very negative aspect of life. At the same time, I love this quote. I love it because it makes me think. It makes me think about all of the things and people I hold closest to my heart, and what were to happen if I lost them, or my trust in them. And then it also sends me a subtle reminder to appreciate all of the love and support I’m given each and every day. That if I reached out for a helping hand or a supportive embrace, it would be there. And I am forever grateful for the ones in my life that I know will always be there.

So looking back on the quote’s clarity, would that be one of the worst things to experience in life? Yes.

Have I gone through it before? Yes.

Is it an easy experience to endure? Not in the slightest.

But with this knowledge now in mind and having experienced times of doubt in people I never imagined I’d question, I like to believe it’s made me a stronger person. It’s opened my eyes to a newfound appreciation. It’s allowed me to put my best foot forward. Hopefully, you can take something valuable away from this quote, just as I have.

Happy Thursday!

Bit of Happy #50: Forever

It’s Bit of Happy #50 today! For some reason, I feel like this is some kind of milestone that I should recognize – half way to one hundred. Kind of ironic that today’s song is titled ‘Forever.’

Made me wonder how long Little Bits of Happy will last. I started this blog with no distinct idea of when I would be finished – no clear end point. The only goal I truly wanted to accomplish was to inspire others to seek out their own happiness through my little bits of happy, my favorite quotes. But when will I know I’ve reach that? Maybe I’ll find the answer to this question one day. But for now, I’m okay with not knowing. I’m okay with this question going unanswered.

Now to the song! ‘Forever’ by Ben Harper has been one of my favorites ever since I heard it for the first time. The gentle melody, the softly spoken lyrics and the revealed truth make this song one that I’ll never stop listening to. Sung almost at a whisper, the feeling expressed in these lyrics are strong and unforgettable. So feel free to have a listen. Hope you enjoy it!

“Forever always seems to be around when things begin, but forever never seems to be around when things end.”

The forever he sings about in this song, “Not talking about a year. No, not three or four. I don’t want that kind of forever in my life anymore,” is the kind of forever that everyone wants to find one day, right? But when do things truly last   f  o  r  e  v  e  r ? When is there as much passion and love in the beginning as there is in the end? Is it even possible? So often, our relationships take on a superficial type of forever. So often, things end with heart break. So often, things end in separation. So often, things end in divorce. What was once forever reflecting in your eyes, now leaves you wondering if things will last until tomorrow. Wow, this doesn’t sound very encouraging…

But it is meant to. Even with all odds against me, I still believe forever exists. I believe it is possible. I hope I can find my forever. Not necessarily any time soon – but one day. This song is meant to make you reflect. Make you think. Think about the future. Think about what you truly want out of this life. This song makes me recognize what the world is too often like, but it also makes me believe that there are still people out there looking for the real forever. The type of love that never dies. The type of love that understands and makes no promises that the cool winds won’t blow. The type of love that, against all odds, will never let the flame burn out, no matter what.

“So give me your forever, not a day less will do… from you.”

My BIGGEST question for you is… Did you see this as a sad song or a happy one? Was it the melody that made it sad or the lyrics?

Did you take something differently from this song?

Do you disagree with the lyrics or do you believe that are right on point?

Bit of Happy #43: Taken For Granted

“You never truly know what you have until you lose it, and once you lose it, it’s gone forever.”
-Anonymous

In life, it is too easy to take things for granted and too difficult to fully understand how much you appreciate something – that is, until it’s gone. Too often we go through the everyday routine and forget the people and things that mean the most to us. We get stuck in this repetitive cycle and lose touch and attentiveness towards those who we couldn’t see ourselves living without. We begin to take one another for granted – the relationship for granted. And before you know it, you may be going through every day with each other yet know absolutely nothing about what the other is going through. And this happens way too often in life.

So, what can you do? Take a moment. Think of all of the incredible people you have in your life. What if they were gone? Or what if they would be gone tomorrow? Would you treat them differently today? Would you listen more carefully? Would you show them how much you care? Would you tell them you love them over and over and over again because you fear not being able to say it enough? Answering yes to any of these questions – you then have to ask yourself… Am I willing to let the everyday get in way of showing the ones that mean the most to me how much I love them? Am I willing to take the ones that mean the most to me for granted?

And if the answer to those questions are no, how will you change your life? How will you show others you care about them? How will you show them that you don’t want to take them for granted – not for one day of your life? Up until the last beat of your heart, how will you show them you love them more than anything?

I don’t have the answers to these questions. They are for you to answer. And you only. However, a good way to start might be…

Tell those who you care about that you care about them. Tell those who you love that you love them. It never hurts to remind them. Not just once. Not just twice. But every day. Every day, remind them that you couldn’t imagine your life without them.

Bit of Happy #39: Be Brave

“The brave don’t live forever, but the cautious never live at all.”
-Timothy Luce

The other night I was talking to a friend of mine who I hadn’t seen or talked to in months. It felt like forever since I’d spoken with him last, and at the same time, like I’d just left his college dorm room and gone up the two flights of stairs back to mine. Anyway, we were both very hesitant about meeting each other because of… well, because of the way things were left between us, and because of the unknown that lies ahead. If you want to catch up on the back story, I explain a bit of it in Bit of Happy #8: Free Yourself.

Once best friends, we were now searching for a way to get back to that point – back to our ‘norm’ before the mess of whatever it was that we ‘tried.’ And being completely honest, the last thing I thought when I agreed to meet with him was that it would be completely effortless. Just like it had been before we took the leap into what ended up being an awkward, hurtful dating… I don’t even know the word for it.

The point of explaining all of this was the topic of conversation. I’ve recently been faced with a good deal of heartache. I know I haven’t mentioned it, but in case you couldn’t tell, I like to try to focus on all of the amazing things I have in life. Not necessarily what is no longer there. Each moment I spent unhappy is a moment I”ll never get back to change into a happy one, so I try to stay as positive as I can and allow the negative to fade away. Trust me, I know that can be difficult. But I believe it’s truly important to focus on the good and get the most out of what life brings you.

Anyway, he listened to everything I was willing to share about Not-So-Prince-Charming – just like old times. We were always there for each other through all of the messy dating dramas – what you commonly find in your early twenties. It was good to have him there – to have him back.

He always told me how brave I was. I don’t know if I ever really believed him when he would say it. Though, it’s always encouraging to know someone believes in you. Even if it’s only one. And in this situation, it was no different. He told me how much he admired my bravery in the way I look at life. So passionately. So fully. So innocently. The way I put my heart out there over and over with little regard to what has happened in the past. The way I refuse to allow the hurt of the last relationship to affect the new one. The way I choose to love through an open heart and mind.

“You’re one of the strongest people I know, Steph. I have no doubt that you’ll be fine given a little more time,” he said. “Just keep your chin up.”

I looked in his eyes in that moment and saw all the answers. He was right. I would be fine. He was right. With time and a little hope, I would make it through this heartache. He was right. This past relationship will not stop me from trying again. He and this quote made me realize that I was not going to live cautiously, but rather face my heartache, allow the bruises to heal, patch up the holes, and with time, I would try again. I may not live longer, but I’ll surely live a life with less regret.

Bit of Happy #36: Make Mistakes

Reese, a close friend of mine, claims not to be much of a writer, so he left it open for me to write most of the entry. However, he did add in his two cents, and what the quote meant to him personally. Thanks again for submitting a quote, Reese. Means the world!

Reese and I when he was visiting from Australia

“I just reckon it’s a good thought. It’s okay to make mistakes, but we need to learn from them. Mistakes lead us to greater experience in life. Life shouldn’t be spent wrapped in the safety of the known. We need to push into the unknown, enjoy it and learn a thing or two.”

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Easy going and adventurous, Reese is one of those people that I will forever hold close to my heart. There aren’t enough words in the world to say about him. He and I met when he was visiting the States (as he would say) for a cousin’s wedding. He was only in for a few more days after we first met, and there was no way I was falling for a guy who lived on the other side of the world. He left with a twinge of heartache – not knowing the next time he’d see me. I, on the other hand, had protected my heart against any type of butterflies I could possibly feel for him – or so I thought.

Long story short, he slowly reeled me in. We grew close – from friendship to a little more. We talked through email and on Skype all the time. That was pretty much all I had – we had. I found so much passion about life and travel in his eyes. He would tell me story after story about living in Australia and what it was like – he still does. I had stars in my eyes. Before I knew it, I was in deeper than I every wanted to be. He was coming back the following summer for another wedding, but that was a year away!

He was always encouraging me to try new things and not live in fear of making mistakes. He was always outside, going on ridiculous adventures during his holidays. He wanted me on a plane to Australia as soon as I had the money. I even looked into studying abroad a semester, but I wouldn’t have been able to graduate on time. So, we left things open. The only fair thing to do. Neither of us wanted the other to miss out on opportunities with other people. We were both in agreement that if someone came along, we wanted to let the other explore that chance. At the same time, there was a part of me that didn’t want someone else to come along.

We were each others’ comfort, and at the same time, our long distance relationship made us feel even more lonely at times. We would sit on Skype and wish somehow one of us could be on the other side of the computer screen. Just to touch his face, hold his hand, hug him, kiss him… The experience certainly made me realize that I would never take the little things for granted in any relationship that may bud in the future.

Do I regret the time I spent with him? Not for one second.
Do I regret giving him a piece of my heart? Not for one second.
Do I regret waiting for him to come back the following summer? Not for one second.

Those few weeks were some of the best days of my life. Days that I wouldn’t trade for anything. Memories that will last forever. I felt so alive. He got me to try things I would never dream about doing. He brought out the spontaneous, carefree side of me – the best side of me. Before he came the following summer, I contemplated even seeing him. I was afraid I’d fall in love with him and bury a deep, dark hole when it came time for him to leave. But I took that chance. I risked making that mistake.

Was it hard having him leave? Yes. It was one of the most difficult good-byes I’ve ever had to say (well, not good-bye – see ya). I never say good-bye. If there’s one phrase I hate, it’s that.

Anyway, the point is… I tried something new. I took a chance that I was hesitant to take, and he ended up bringing out the best in me. And when it came time for him to leave and go back to Australia, our relationship was so free and happy that not even him going back to the other side of the world was going to squander that. Not to mention, I think a big part of me not grabbing a shovel and starting the dig to my deep, dark hole was the fact that it was our norm. Being apart was our norm. As much as we hated to admit it, as much as we cherished every moment we could spend together… we both knew that he belonged in Australia. And I belonged here.

The distance is ultimately what made us separate enough that we could remain close friends, while living out the lives we were meant to without holding back. It was difficult, but gradual. It was necessary. I didn’t want to take him out of Australia as much as I knew I couldn’t leave the States. So, there was only one mature and logical thing that we could do. The only problem was… hearts are blind to things realistic. My heart will always have a special place for him. My mind will always have a tiny thought of ‘What if things were different…’

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I wasn’t surprised for a moment when I read the quote Reese chose to share. It shows so much about him in just a short phrase. He’s a great person with the whole world reflecting in his eyes. He’s someone I’m sure I’ll mention again and share more stories about because some of my happiest and best moments were spent while with him. Some of my greatest times of growth were spent while with him. Some of the biggest realizations and dreams of life were recognized while with him. And even now that we’ve taken the level of a friendship, he still has the power to make me smile no matter what the circumstances. No matter what the stress. No matter what new boy I’m crying over. No matter what the obstacle or challenge I’m facing. He encourages me to get up every morning with a smile on my face and the optimism to try something new. And even though you never know when that chance may surely turn into a mistake, it could also very well turn into something quite perfect.

Bit of Happy #35: Leave Your Mark

A photograph I took for my Black & White Photography class in college.

“We are born into the world like a blank canvas, and every person that crosses our path takes up the brush and makes their mark upon our surface, so it is that we develop. But we must realize that there comes a day that we must take up the brush and finish the work. For only we can determine if we are to be just another painting or a masterpiece.”
-Javan

So uplifting and motivating. It paints a picture of the path that life travels. In the beginning – a white canvas is born. Pure. Innocent. Untouched. With each passing day, those who grow close to you will forever leave a mark on your canvas – some warm reds and yellows and others cool blues and purples. Some marks will last and go on forever and some may be abruptly severed. Some strokes will overlap with others, and may one day smooth over the underlying mark completely.

But no matter what effect others have on you – it is ultimately your choice how you live your life. It is ultimately your choice if you are strong or weak. It is ultimately your choice if you stay optimistic about the future or let the past drag down your spirits. The brush is in your hands to finish the work. Your life is in your hands to make it what you want. Live it the way you want.

So what is your choice? Will you be just another painting? Or, will you look at the marks others have left on your life and find a way to turn it into a masterpiece?

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